The Lost Prince
by Blackwolf-20
Summary: A simple life threatens to shatter for a young boy and those around him. He begins to question who he is and where he comes from. Unbeknownst to him, it is the past and future that may determine his fate. Will the truth be revealed or will it be lost in a web of lies? sequel to 'Not Suppose to Raise Him'.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost**

**Okay! We're back again for what I believe will be the final installment of the 'Little Ben' saga where Juliet and Sawyer raise him like their son. If you haven't already, please read "A Boy Just Needs His Mother", followed by "Not Suppose to Raise Him" before you read this epic story, otherwise you won't have a hope of understanding it. **

**On that note, there may be the occasional time jumping, mixed with flashes, so bare with me on that. This is Lost afterall. With that, let the story continue.**

Prologue

The sailboat pulled up smoothly next to the pier. A dark-haired man stepped out and tied it off. He took a moment to take in the sight of the destination he had reached. There was a mix of emotions fleeting across his face at the sight of it. He eventually turned back to the boat and peeked down to the lower deck.

"We're here!" he called out.

Seated below on the bed was a young man who was fingering a small wooden box as if it were the most precious item in the world. He didn't bother to look up at the man that had called down to him.

"Good," he simply replied.

He picked up a sachel from the floor and stuffed the wooden box inside. After securing it over his shoulder, he stood and climbed his way to the upper deck.

Like the dark-haired man, he stood and took in the view of their destination. It was an island. A great, unknown island with rising mountains and swaying trees. But the man knew there was more to it than what he saw. For starters, there was a pier when no one should have known about this place.

"Are you sure about this?" the dark-haired man asked.

"Absolutely Richard." He then reached into his pants pocket and pulled out an old black and white newspaper clipping that showed the same island. "This is it. The island really exists."

"Yeah, it does," Richard agreed, as if he were ashamed. "I still think you should reconsider this. He's not going to like this."

"_He_, lied to me," the man said seriously. After a moment of observing Richard's reaction, he stepped off the boat and onto the pier. Richard followed soon after he loaded a gun.

"I know I've asked this before, but you've never bothered to answer. What are you looking for?"

When he ignored the question, Richard reached out and physically stopped him. He looked him square in the eyes and could tell the man was quite excited to be here, even if it wasn't obvious.

"What do you hope to find?" Richard asked. He sounded as if he was begging the man to answer. A minute seemed to go by before he gave another simple answer.

"The truth."

He turned away from Richard and continued onward to land. Richard simply watched him, as a feeling of dread rose within him.

**There's a start for you, though short, but not simple. Richard has come to the island, and with a mysterious man. What exactly is he hoping to discover about this island? And has it changed? This was just the prologue, so there's much more to come.**


	2. Chapter 1: Her

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost**

_**Previously on 'Not Suppose to Raise Him'**_

_Their friends from three years ago, Jack, Kate, and Hurley had all come back, just as Locke had promised._

_"I...I don't know what to say." Kate gave Juliet an incredulous look. "You've just been...raising Ben on your own like that?"_

_"Kate," Juliet warned. She could hear her voice starting to rise._

_"Believe you me, I don't figure myself good with him. In fact, I don't figure myself a parent. Juliet's the one managing that area."_

_"Yeah but still, it's not too late for you to do more for him," said Hurley._

_James scoffed, then turned his eyes back on the boy. For once, he was truly looking at the boy._

_"Hello. Is this your ball?"_

_Ben nodded, so the man reached down and picked it up. He handed it over and Ben took it, but he did not move away._

_"Thank you. I'm Ben."_

_"It's nice to meet you Ben. I"m Sayid," the man greeted in a calm and controlled voice._

_Quietly, so as not to wake the boy, Sayid entered the room. Slowly he raised the gun, and aimed at the back of his head._

_"James. What happened?" Jin asked._

_"Exactly what I said happened," he said bitterly. "Sayid broke into my house. __He came to kill Ben."_

_James wandered over to the door. Ben's cries stopped as he took more interest in watching him open it. Standing on the other side of it was Roger Linus, who stood awkwardly on his porch looking nervous and exhausted._

_"Well if it ain't the real daddy," said James. "Come to get what's rightfully yours?"_

_"No. I came to say goodbye, to him."_

_"This was not suppose to be our life," Dan said calmly and slowly. "We have no reason to be here."_

_"There is one reason," James admitted quietly._

_"Juliet, is this true? Have you, been raising Ben?" Dan asked seriously. All eyes were on her._

_"I didn't have a choice. Horace asked me too when Roger abandoned him. He was just a baby. I delivered him."_

_"Juliet, I know it's hard, but you have to let him go." He grabbed onto her shoulders and looked her square in the eyes. "You are not suppose to raise him."_

_"Forget him. Just, round up the others. We gotta talk before things get blown out of porportion," said James._

_As Phil desired James found himself, along with Juliet, back in the security unit next to the security cameras, only this time they were both handcuffed to chairs. They weren't alone as Phil, Radzinsky and their men, along with Horace stood guard over them. _

_"These people. Where are they now?" Radzinsky asked as he pointed to one of the screens. _

_"Put us on the sub," James said hoarsley. _

_"Jack is on his way to blow up a hydrogen bomb," Kate said as if it made sense in some weird way. "__We have to stop him." _

_It was hard for her to believe, that her last chance to escape the island was sinking out of sight, as she, Kate, and James paddled towards land on a raft. Of course it didn't compare to the fact that it was carrying Ben. _

_James kicked and knocked Jack aside._

_"He's right," Juliet said boldly. "James we have to do this."_

_"What are you talking about? You're the one that told me to come back here and stop him! What happened?"_

_"Just because I've come to love him, as a son, because I've come to love you, doesn't mean we're meant to be together," said Juliet._

_"I need you to be there for him too," she told him, almost in a pleading way. "Keep him on the right path."_

_The bomb was dropped._

_Everything was falling out of everyone's control. Larger metal materials were flying to the soure of attraction. _

_James just managed to grab onto Juliet's hand before she could slip out of sight below the clutter of the collapsed drill._

_"Where do you think you're going blondie?" _

_She was no longer holding his hand. _

_"No!"_

_"I'm sorry Ben," she whispered. She felt as if she had failed._

_There wasn't enough times to think of all the great memories she shared with James and Ben, when she struck the nuke for the final time._

Chapter 1: Her

**"So, once water is added to the bicarbonate, we will get our very own volcanic reaction."**

**The young blonde teacher stood confidently before a mock volcanoe on her desk while her students took notes and watched. To further explain the day's lesson, there were diagrams and more information written on the dry erase board behind her.**

**"Okay, let's get ourselves an eruption." She added the water into the opening, and within seconds it began to foam a white lava like imitation. "Now, I know it's not lava, but you get the idea. Pretty neat right?"**

**She smiled as the kids chatted and expressed great interest in the sight before them. Though they were fifth graders there was, however, one kid who didn't appear to have paid attention to any of it. He was busy peering at a page in the wrong book.**

**"Ben," she called. "Benjamin?"**

**He looked up and straightened his glasses.**

**"Yes ma'am?"**

**"I'd like you to pay attention."**

**Ben slipped a paper on the page he was reading and closed the book. He then straightened up, giving the impression he was ready to follow instructions. Once she was satisfied, the teacher went back to discussing the lesson. Ben found he was only half listening to what she was saying. Another student, with long light brown hair, took notice as she watched him.**

**When class ended, Ben quietly gathered up his school supplies while their teacher gave them a final announcement for the day.**

**"Remember, this Friday, we will be having a luncheon for Mother's day. The one time I know you won't mind eating with your parent. Hey, but if your moms can't make it, I don't see a problem with your dads filling that spot."**

**A few of the kids laughed at her suggestion before heading out. Ben slung his backpack over his back and prepared to do the same. **

**"Hey." He turned to see the brown haired girl coming up to him. "We should get together and study some time before the test."**

**"Yeah," he said simply.**

**"I could come to your house for once," she said as she traveled with him. **

**"Maybe," he answered without glancing at her. The girl bit her lip in slight disappointment at his lack of interest, but she was used to it.**

**"You okay? Was it the mother's day thing?" He didn't answer. "Maybe you could get her to come, or do like Mrs. Gophfree said and get your dad to-"**

**"I don't think so," he said quickly.**

**"Oh." She looked away as she tried to think of something else to say to elevate his mood. "What was that book you were looking at?"**

**"It's nothing," he said dismissively.**

**"Yes it was," she said as she jumped in front of him, causing him to fully acknowledge her. **

**Ben seemed annoyed by her behavior, but at the same time he wasn't bothered by it. He took off his backpack and pulled out the book that had grabbed his attention during the lesson. The girl took the book that was titled, ****Islands of the Great Pacific****. She flipped through it and saw various images of islands and beaches.**

**"I didn't know you were into beaches and stuff."**

**"I'm not, I just wanted something to read," said Ben as he took the book back from her.**

**He stuffed it back in his backpack and they both made their way to the front where parents were picking up their kids. A woman and man pulled up in a blue car and honked the horn.**

**"There's my ride, bye," said the girl as she headed for it.**

**"Bye Annie," Ben said quietly as she entered the back seat of the car. He watched the family until they drove away before looking at the buses lining up. He sighed and made his way towards one.**

**He plopped down in one of the seats and stared out the window. He didn't know why, but lately, he didn't feel interested in anything, and it didn't help that Mother's Day was coming up.**

**When the bus made the correct stop, Ben departed and headed up the sidewalk to his house. There was no car in the driveway. Ben glanced at his watch then proceeded up the steps to unlock the front door. No sooner had Ben settled himself in, did he hear the sound of a vehicle pulling up. He went about his business making a snack out of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.**

**The door opened and Ben barely glanced up at the tired looking man who entered with a six pack of beers in one hand. He made eye contact with the boy, but didn't appear to be delighted.**

**"Hey," he muttered. "How was school? Didn't start no trouble?"**

**"Fine," Ben answered. "And no."**

**"Good." The man headed into the kitchen to find a place for his drinks, but not before pulling off one to drink on the spot. Afterwards he headed to the couch and slumped down. Ben slowly approached him from behind.**

**"Um,"**

**"What?" the man grumbled.**

**"Friday, there's a Mother's day luncheon." He didn't know why he felt compelled to tell him, and right after he had come home. Clearly the man thought the same thing as he looked at him.**

**"Well I ain't the one that's suppose to go to them things am I," he said in a dark, sarcastic manner. "You know who to get."**

**"No, I don't want her to, come," Ben said, while feeling a bit of guilt and sadness. "It doesn't feel right."**

**"Then what are you bugging me for?"**

**Ben found he wasn't exactly sure. All he knew was that something was driving him to consider making more of an effort when it came to the man. **

**"I'll go, start my homework then."**

**Ben turned and walked away. The man watched him head down the hall, his shoulders slumped. He leaned forward and sighed.**

**"Gotta love parenting," he muttered bitterly as he pulled out some envelopes and dropped them on the coffee table. They were clearly bills, addressed to the man known as James Ford.**

_**FLASH**_

The first thing James became aware of, was the ringing in his ears. It was so strong he couldn't even think. He could barely feel. James groaned as his senses awakened. The ringing transformed into sounds, and the sounds quickly turned into voices. He recognized them as Kate and Jack. He groaned again and rolled over to his side as the events came to his mind.

His eyes shifted over to where Kate and Jack were. He barely noticed how dark it was. All he cared about, was the fact that they were discussing the Dharma members building the hatch.

He didn't know how he summoned the strength to jump to his feet. He glared at the man responsible. The man who gave him the run-around, and eventually made things much worse. James didn't bother to talk-he acted. A strong kick sent Jack tumbling down into the crater that was once the hatch.

"You were wrong!" James shouted. Nothing could defuse the rage that was firing off within him. "That's the damn Swan hatch-blown up just like we left it before we started jumping through time! You said we could stop it from ever gettin' built! That our plane would never crash on this Island!"

"Stop it!" Kate demanded, but James would not let her block his target. Seeing the doctor bleeding and coughing in regards to his attack wasn't satisfactory enough.

"This ain't LAX!" he yelled. It had all been for nothing. Juliet had died for nothing. "You blew us right back to where we started! Except Juliet's dead. She's dead, you son of a bitch, 'cause you were wrong!"

His new enemy struggled to get to his feet. He was panting heavily and doing his best to show sorrow.

"Sawyer... I'm sorry. I thought we were supposed to... I thought it would work."

James wouldn't accept it.

"Well it didn't."

Jack shook his head, and James was sure for once he didn't have any certain answers.

"The bomb must've gone off," Jack assumed.

"You think we'd still be standing here if an atom bomb went off!" James couldn't believe how desperate he'd become to explain.

"I don't know."

"That's right you don't know! For once you don't know!"

He wanted nothing more than to swing another hit at the once heroic doctor, but Jin came along shouting about Sayid's status. It infuriated him that Jack was considering how to help Sayid, a man who had attempted to kill a child. It was harder for him to believe how fast his family had disappeared. Juliet was dead, and Ben was far gone in another time. He was alone. There was nothing but his grief, and the know-it-all doctor.

"So what do you say, doc? Got another great idea to save Sayid? Maybe there's a nuke laying around, or-"

"Hey! Shut up!"

He turned and took notice of Kate who was hovering over the disaster of the hatch implosion. He didn't have to ask what had caught her attention. He heard it, as a small yet determined voice.

"Help!"

James froze in shock. The voice traveling up from the piles of twisted metal, belonged to the only person who was unfortunate enough to get sucked under the disaster.

"Juliet!"

"James?!"

He couldn't believe it. Juliet was alive.

**I bet you're wondering, 'What the heck is going on?', in the true **_**Lost**_** fashion. Well, as in the prologue, I did warn you about the time shifts that are going to be present in this epic story...,but still. Was either moment a flash sideways? A flashforward? A flashback? Was that really Annie? What happened to James? Maybe later it will become clear...**_**maybe**_**.**

**You may also notice Ben speaks a little bit more here than he did with Roger. Also, he can pronounce 'r', because as little Ben, he couldn't. He has grown, but how much has he changed; or has he? Find out in the chapters to follow. **

**The story, has officially begun ;)**


	3. Chapter 2: The Forgotten One

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost**

**Okay, here's the next chapter.**

Chapter 2: The Forgotten One

No amount of digging seemed to be enough. Even with Kate, Jack, and Miles helping, James still felt they were making no progress. The best he could do was shout down comforting words. Jack shone a light into the space. As much as he tried, James could not see Juliet below. There was still too much blockage.

"If we can move this beam, I think I can get down there," James told them. "It's too heavy... we need something to pull it. Jin! The van. There's chains in it. Go get 'em!"

Jin hurried away while James concentrated on not becoming panicked. As much noise as they were making, moving metal about, he still hoped to hear a sound from her.

"Juliet! We're coming, so don't you worry!" She didn't respond. James listened hard but heard nothing from her. He turned to Kate who had been kneeling next to him, doing as much as she could to help free her. "She ain't makin' any more noises... "

"No, she knows we're here. She's probably just resting," Kate assured him, but James found no comfort in her words.

"Juliet!" he screamed again. There was still no response. He sat back and allowed his anger to grab ahold of him. He shifted his gaze to Jack who had climbed out of the pit to wait for Jin. "If she dies, I'll kill him."

He could feel Kate watching him, but he didn't care. Right now he meant it. Right now he waited. Though he was surrounded by the others, he felt like he was alone, kneeling before a dark hole of despair.

It felt like an eternity before Jin finally arrived. James couldn't wait even though he was right there. He started pulling on the beam. Kate interfered and pulled him away.

"Stop it! Stop, Sawyer! The van is here, the chains are coming."

"Juliet!" he cried. The heavy weight in his stomach was becoming heavier.

As promised, the chains were brought which they began to work around the girder. Once they were secure, James gave the order for Jin to hit the gas. With the help of the van, and their own hands, the beam came loose. There was a shock of relief stirring within James. The weight in his stomach even lifted. James didn't wait for the go ahead. He took Jack's flashlight and climbed down into the hole.

It was still hard for him to believe that Juliet could survive such a fall. After carefully guiding himself down, he was met with the grisly sight of his blond-headed partner. As disturbed as he was by it, he wouldn't let it deter him.

"Juliet! Juliet?" He reached for her and gently held her in his arms so as not to cause her further pain. "Hey, I'm here, come on baby, come on wake up."

For a minute he feared he was too late, but then she opened her eyes.

"Hi." It was a simple greeting, expected from one who had gone through too much. James was grateful to hear it.

"Hey," he greeted back. He hoped she wouldn't hear how crushed he sounded.

"Wh-Wh-Where are we?"

"Don't worry about that," he told her. "You're fine. I gotta get you outta here, okay?" He couldn't imagine how he was going to do it, but he knew there must be some way.

"It didn't work, we're still on the Island," she cried.

James looked at her and saw deep concern, over something he no longer considered important.

"It's okay, it's okay, I just gotta get this loose enough to get you out, okay?"

"No, I hit the bomb and we're still here," she explained tearfully.

James stared at her, shocked. Not only had she survived an impossible fall, but also an explosion at the closest range anyone could get.

"You what? ...You hit the bomb? Why?" It sounded so ridiculous and so stupid, that he couldn't even chastize her for such an action.

"I wanted you to be able to go home. I wanted to make it so you never came to this damn Island." The tears started to fall. She could barely speak due to the crying."I wanted everyone to be okay, but ...it didn't work."

"Don't you worry about that. You're gonna be okay. I'm gonna get you outta here and we're all gonna go home together, you hear me?" He would not let this be a set back. It didn't matter what she did, or what any of them did. They wouldn't have to worry about complex plans to save their lives. They could simply find salvation the old fashion way.

"I messed up," she cried. "I'm sorry."

"You got nothing to be sorry about," he told her, but she was refusing to listen.

"I took in Ben, then I sent him away. I made you come back here to help Jack, and..."

"Sawyer!" he heard Kate call down. "Is she okay!"

"Working on it!" he called up. He proceeded to remove the beam crushing her legs. It pained him to hear her cry out in agony. "Okay, okay, I got'cha, I got'cha. Don't worry."

James pulled her closer, hoping it was enough to comfort her. She grew quiet, which made him feel it had worked.

"Please," she whispered quietly. James looked down, but saw that she wasn't looking at him. She wasn't looking at anything in particular. Her expression was blank as if she didn't even see him. "Please,...be one of the good guys."

"Juliet?"

"No matter what...you also...belong to me."

"I gotta get you out of here." It frightened him even more to think that Juliet might have a serious concussion, or worse, was losing her mind.

"James," she whispered. He was relieved to see that she was really looking at him this time.

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me."

"You got it blondie."

The passion had returned in the darkness, and the weight in his stomach disappeared. From their kiss, he knew everything was going to be alright. Juliet smiled serenely at him.

"I have to tell you something, it's really really important," she pleaded.

"You tell me...you tell me."

He wanted to hear anything she had to say; anything at all. Juliet stared into his eyes. He could tell there was a lot she wanted to say, but the most important thing she wanted to say, never reached his ears.

"Juliet...you tell me..."

He couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. He was crumbling. The weight didn't just reappear, it instantly sank and destroyed him from within. He pulled her body close and cried into her hair, as the darkness consumed him.

_**FLASH**_

**The silence hung awkwardly over them, but Ben did his best to ignore it. Every now and then he'd glance up from his plate and look across the table at his dad. Most often his dinner times were spent being absorbed in bills or the paper. Ben considered it an excuse for him not to start a conversation. Tonight, however, he was occupied only with his dinner. Ben had gotten used to it, but lately it was starting to annoy him. The problem was, he didn't know how to talk to the man. The most they talked about, was his good behavior.**

**Regardless, Ben opened his mouth to start, but he beat him to it.**

**"Keeping your grades up?" his father asked without even looking up.**

**"Uh, yeah."**

**"Good. Don't need no teachers calling me down there to-"**

**"Do you remember, mom?"**

**At last his father looked over at him. He was as taken aback by the question as Ben was asking it. **

**"What kind of thing is that to ask?" he asked, almost agressively.**

**"I just, I don't know," Ben admitted.**

**"You do know," he accused. "Spill it."**

**Ben knew there was no getting out of it once he used that tone of voice. If there was one thing his father hated above anything else he did, it was lying. He took a moment to figure out why he had asked, before answering.**

**"I guess, cause Mother's day is coming up. We don't talk about her."**

**"We talked about her, before," he said with an edge of anger in his voice, but Ben didn't back down.**

**"Once, and that was a long time ago..."**

**"There's nothing to talk about," he stated. "She's gone, and she left me with you. Case closed."**

**His father's glare was enough to get him to drop the subject and look back at his own plate. He pushed the broccoli around, but the real question he had on his mind kept nagging him.**

**"How did she die?"**

**He heard the fork clank loudly on the plate. He looked up to see his father silently fuming. Once again, his glaring eyes met his. **

**"What part of case closed don't you understand?"**

**"You...never told me," he said nervously.**

**"There ain't nothing to tell."**

**"But, I want to know-"**

**"Drop it!" he shouted, as he pounded a fist on the table.**

**Not only did Ben see anger in his eyes, he also saw deep sadness. He was saddened to see there was also a sign of annoyance in his expression. The last thing he wanted to do was cause his father to start despising him. He was sure he didn't care for him as much as a father should anyways.**

**To keep it from happening, Ben dropped the subject and officially returned to his plate. He heard his father pick up his own fork and start eating. He didn't ask any more questions aloud. He did ask them silently to himself and even tried to answer them himself. The only thing he ever really learned about his mother was that she was kind and compassionate. She always put others before herself and tried to make the right decisions. He told her she was a beautiful blonde, which was the only thing he had to go by for a description as there were no pictures of her. He was simply told the family photos disappeared in a flood.**

**Ben hoped it was all true, and couldn't help wondering how different their lives would be if she was still around. For the most part, he just hoped he would be able to follow in her footsteps, but there were many times where it felt impossible to him.**

_**FLASH**_

With much difficulty, James carefully held Juliet in his arms as he made the impossible climb to the surface. He felt as if he were carrying her out of a grave, simply to place her in another one. None of it was fair. He couldn't understand it. Their lives had become so perfect. It was slow growing, filled with issues of a child he hadn't wanted, and then transformed into the relationship of a typical family.

At the very back of his mind, he heard Dan's warning, but something was louder. He heard Jack insisting this was the thing to do. Dropping the bomb would save them, not kill them. Jack was partially right, but mostly wrong. It had saved them by bringing them back to the begining, but had killed the one who had not originally been one of them. Did it make a difference whereas the universe was concerned?

After warming up to her, and moving past the fact that she was once a hostile, they had become comrades. After three years of arguments and discussions, Benjamin Linus had transformed from being his enemy to his son. Did it matter that neither were related? That they were from another side?

James didn't know. All he knew was that his family was gone. Juliet was dead. When he made his way to the top, he found his fellow castaways standing in silence and rightfully looking sorrowful. The only one expressing more than sorrow was Jack who looked back in shock and despair. James glared back at the doctor who supposedly knew everything. Who promised everything would be okay. There was only one person responsible for Juliet's death, and it wasn't Juliet herself.

"You did this."

**Sorry. Juliet died afterall. To be honest, there was a possibility for her to survive, but considering how the story goes, well... In the life Ben was supposed to have, Ben was raised alone by his father, but what does that say about the flashes? Are they real, or not? By the way, the title refers to Juliet here.**

**Keep reading and reviewing and you'll find out!**


	4. Chapter 3: Buried Secrets

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost**

**So we've lost Juliet. How will Sawyer cope?**

Chapter 3: Buried Secrets

James was in no hurry to lay Juliet to rest. For the time being, she lay under a cover on the ground while James searched the back of the Dharma van for shovels. As dark as he felt, he found it difficult to think. The most he could do was toss furious glances at Jack who was trying to tend to Sayid.

James took notice of the bloody hole in Sayid's chest and found he did not care if he lived. Sayid appeared to have a chance at survival, and all he could think was how unfair it was. Why did Juliet deserve to die while Sayid deserved a chance to live? The question popped up every now and then. In response, Farraday came to his mind, and it made him wonder if it was somehow the universe's way of punishing her, for trying to change things with Ben.

"Hey," Kate greeted quietly as she moved over to James.

"Hey yourself," he mumbled.

"Sounds like they're taking Sayid to some temple, to help him."

"Who's bright idea was that?" he asked bitterly, though he didn't really care.

"Hurley's."

"Sure it wasn't the doc's?" He looked around at her and she dropped her gaze.

"Sawyer, about what you said..."

"Forget it," he growled. "I ain't got the energy to kill Jack, yet."

Kate could barely look at him.

"You going with them?"

"No. I'm gonna bury her."

The shovel came into sight and he reached for it, but her hand fell on top of his own.

"Let me help you," she insisted.

"Help them."

He grabbed the shovel and moved towards Juliet. Kate stopped him once more by grabbing his arm.

"Sawyer...I'm so sorry." He felt some relief to see her becoming teary-eyed. "Please, let me help you."

_**FLASH**_

**The day he'd been dreading had finally come. It was the day of the Mother's day luncheon. He tried not to think about it as he prepared to go to school. There was no getting out of it, unless he was severely ill. His father made sure he kept a proper attendance, as if a few missed days would result in him becoming some kind of rebel. In Ben's opinion, it was simply anoher excuse for him to exert control over him. It was his strict nature that kept Ben from inviting Annie over. **

**He headed into an empty kitchen and decided to fix a piece of toast. Most days he skipped breakfast like his father. In the past, his father had made an effort to do morning cookings, but those days had come to an end far too soon. If Ben asked him to make pancakes, he knew he would get some smart comment about him not being the housewife or his personal servant.**

**James walked up to the opening of the kitchen while buttoning up his jumpsuit for work. He was head of security at some company Ben knew nothing about. Ben watched him for a moment, but quickly looked away when James caught him looking. **

**A knock at the door interrupted any awkward conversation they could have started. **

**"Well now, aren't we up early."**

**Ben peeked into the living room to see who he was talking with. The man stepped aside and a woman stepped in, smiling.**

**"Yeah, I thought I'd take Ben to school."**

**"What's the matter, the buses break down?" James asked.**

**"No, but it wouldn't hurt you to try it again," she told him.**

**"I gotta get to work."**

**The woman took notice of Ben watching them and approached.**

**"Hey, Ben," she greeted.**

**"Good morning, Ms. Austen," he greeted, though he lacked the energy to be pleased to see her.**

**"I told you it's fine to call me Kate."**

**"Let him call you proper," James argued. "He needs to grow up to be a gentleman."**

**"I think he already is one, thanks to you," she teased.**

**"Ha ha ha. Do what you want, I'm outta here." He made it to the door, but turned back to Ben. "You be sure and lock up when you leave."**

**Ben nodded and didn't argue the fact that he never forgot that rule. Once he was gone, he found Kate looking at him with a familiar expression. She was something of a regular visitor, but at the same time she wasn't. When she did drop by, Ben couldn't help feeling it was out of a sense of guilt. He didn't know the full history his dad had with her, but he did know it was somewhat rocky. She had once admitted to him that she loved him more than as a friend, and that despite everything he was a good man. Ben questioned if his dad had felt the same or if they had ever gotten together, but whenever relationship questions were brought up, he felt he had hurt her somehow. She would have something of a pained expression on her face as she dodged the question. **

**"So, how do you feel about me taking you to school?"**

**"You don't have to," he told her. "I'm fine taking the bus."**

**"Well if you want, I can pick you up after school."**

**Ben wasn't fooled. Whenever there was a special occasion around the corner, Kate offered to go out of her way for him. This was her way of allowing him to ask her to go to the luncheon. Considering what his dad once told him, Kate had been close with his mother, so Ben took it that she desired to fill in her absense. He did like Kate, and had nothing but respect for her, but he sometimes considered her kindness as acts of pity. Without much of his dad's guidance, he had come to be very independent. But considering his failed conversation the previous night, he decided to make another effort for answers.**

**"Actually, you can take me," he said, with a slight smile.**

_**FLASH**_

"Grab a shovel," he told her as he moved away. "Hey Miles, you mind hanging back?"

"You got it boss."

James stood over the body, not thinking and barely breathing. With much effort he bent down, picked her up, and held her for what would be the last time. He could feel Miles's and kate's eyes on him, but he didn't turn to look at them. Instead, he looked at Jack who dared to approach him.

"We're, ah, we're going on ahead. Hurley thinks Sayid can be saved."

"What's the matter doc, can't save him either?"

It brought on a heavy silence. Jack of course, felt it was up to him to fill it.

"Sawyer look, I'm-"

"Save it doc," James warned. "I don't want to hear anything outta you just yet. You got a new mission to get to, so you better do it, if you ain't worried about killing no one else."

It was harsh, but he felt it was better than kicking him again. He turned his back and walked away with Kate and Miles following.

To James, there was no perfect spot for her. If he could bury her anywhere else, he would have, but Juliet would unfortunately have to remain on the island. He murmured "Sorrys" to her as he scouted out a nearby location. There was nothing special about the area he chose, but once he chose it, he and Kate started to dig. He kept telling himself he should do it alone; he was supposed to do it alone. When a man found himself in such a tragic situation, it was his job to bury the woman he loved. He couldn't do it though. He needed someone as a crutch.

Juliet's resting place was dug without a word said. Miles sat off to the side, watching. As carefully as he could, James laid Juliet's body in the grave, then he alone covered her.

They all stood over the site, but no one said any final words. James knew Kate was prodding him to with a look, but he couldn't. He simply tried to make her site as neat and proper as possible.

"Hey, I think that'll do it boss," Miles suddenly said.

"Stop calling me boss. You ain't my deputy any more," he muttered. He didn't want any more reminders of the life he suddenly lost.

"You got it. Are you thirsty? I think I saw some beers in the van. Construction guys hid 'em in the wa-"

"What'd she wanna tell me Miles?" He didn't bother to beat around the bush.

"Excuse me?"

"Juliet. She said she wanted to tell me something, then she died. What was it Miles?"

"That's why you asked me to stay here with you?" Miles asked, insulted.

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked.

"Miles here is the only one who can talk to dead people," he explained while staring him down.

"Jim, that's not how it works."

"Are you serious?" Kate questioned.

"We just came back from 1977 and you're finding a chit-chat with dead people hard to believe?" When Kate dropped the questions, he turned to Miles once more. "What did she wanna tell me Miles?"

"Hey...it doesn't matter.

"It does matter," James argued. He wasn't about to let her message become a buried secret.

"It's not gonna help."

"Just do it! Just ask her."

"She's gone James!"

He'd had enough. He grabbed him by the front of his jumpsuit and threw him on top of the grave.

"Sawyer!" Kate called, but she didn't try to stop him.

"I know she's gone," he whispered. He didn't need anyone to tell him the obvious. "I know. Now tell me."

"Okay. okay, okay, alright, alright." Miles bent closer to the earth and closed his eyes. Little shakes of the head from him told James he was right on track. He looked up at Kate who was naturally confused by the whole thing. James stood and approached her.

"Believe it now?" he asked.

"What's he doing?"

"His ghostbuster thing." They continued to watch him, until he suddenly opened his eyes and raised his head.

"It worked."

"What did she wanna tell me?" James bent back down.

"Raise him, well."

"What?" James asked, confused.

"That's what she wanted to tell you. "Raise him well". What do you think that means?"

James looked back at the grave. It wasn't enough to give him a clue as to what she was referring to.

"How the hell should I know."

He stood, and for a moment he thought he knew what she was talking about, but decided it was impossible. It was clearly a meaningless ramble due to a head injury. He walked away, desiring to be alone.

He found himself a tree to lean against and stared out into the jungle. He didn't want to feel. He didn't want to think about the past or future, or what to do next. If anything, he thought he might take Miles's offer on that Dharma beer. Though he was in the right time, it felt wrong. He couldn't fully say Jack's plan didn't work. They had gone back to the begining, but not the begining he imagined. He'd gone back to the begining without Juliet, and even Ben.

James sank down to the ground and closed his eyes. He figured he could simply stay right there forever.

"Sawyer!"

He opened his eyes. It was Kate that had called his name, but he wasn't so sure he really heard it.

"SAWYER!"

He jumped up and hurried towards the frantic cries of Kate. The last thing he needed was another catastrophy. It didn't appear to be one when he reached her and Miles, who had wandered not too far from Juliet's grave.

Miles was standing behind Kate who was crouched over something he couldn't see.

"What's wrong?"

Miles turned, looking shocked, as did Kate. James moved in to see for himself, and soon enough he felt the same shock.

Lying before Kate, on his back, unconscious, was Benjamin Linus. It wasn't the adult Ben Linus that was supposedly left behind in the future. It was the three year old version that was supposed to had been left behind in the past.

"What the...hell is he doing here?" James asked, stunned.

Neither could answer him, because neither of them knew. Kate leaned forward and laid her ear against his mouth and nose.

"I don't know," she answered, "but he's not breathing."

**Dun Dun DUN! Now there's a twist. But I did mention in my author's not at the end of "Not Suppose to Raise Him" that things were going to get twisty. So since you know Juliet's gone, it's safe to say that in the last chapter, they were referring to Kate when they talked about bringing 'her' for the Mother's day luncheon. So how did little Ben end up in the future with them? What does that mean for the adult Ben who's suppose to be in this time? **

**Tune in next time for the latest.**


	5. Chapter 4: No News is Good News

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost**

**James has discovered that little Ben wasn't left behind.**

Chapter 4: No News is Good News

Once James had gotten over the initial shock of seeing a three year old Ben lying there, he moved into action.

"Out of the way," he commanded Kate as he bent down over the boy.

He immediately began performing CPR. Kate and Miles watched from behind him. For the most part, he maintained calmness, but the lack of response from the child was starting to unnerve him. Regardless of how he had shown up, James couldn't believe it was just to die. It didn't make sense. So far, he recieved no sign that he could be saved.

"Come on, damn it," he cried. "Come on!"

"Maybe he can't," Miles tentively said as James went back into it.

"Why not?" Kate questioned for him.

"Because we're in the future, and the real Ben, the adult version is suppose to be here," Miles explained as if it was obvious. "They can't both exist at the same time."

"Well what about you?" Kate asked.

"What about me?"

"Hurley told me about a baby Miles you were living with."

Miles scoffed in annoyance at her point.

"I wasn't living _with_ him. That was my past too, so of course I was there, as a baby. But it's not like I spent time with him." He turned away as the thought of seeing his family hung over him. "That would be, messed up."

"Come on! damn you, come on!" James yelled out. Kate bent down to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Sawyer...maybe, you can't..."

"I already lost Juliet, I ain't losing another part of her." James wouldn't give up. He pushed himself to awaken the kid as if the world would end with his death.

Kate stood, not wanting to be too close when he realized the boy was gone. To her surprise, as well as James's, they heard a gasp. Ben had taken in a deep breath and began to cough. James pulled back and released a breath of relief. The boy's eyes began to flutter as Kate kneeled back down to James's side. She smiled and ran a hand over his head.

"He's okay," she whispered.

James looked back at the boy, whose eyes settled on him.

"You alright?" James asked him after a minute. Ben didn't answer right away. He rolled his eyes all around as if he was looking for something in particular.

"Whewes mommy?" he asked innocently as his eyes locked back onto James.

All James could do was stare back at him. The darkness was starting to consume him once again.

_**FLASH**_

**Very little was said as Ben rode shot-gun in Kate's car. Kate brought up typical questions about how his school life and life in general were going. Ben replied with expected simple answers, while his most desired question plagued his mind. He'd brought it up with Kate before, but this time, he was determined to push for an answer, and he wasn't quite sure how to **_**push **_**an adult. **

**"Your school's having a luncheon today right?"**

**Ben had been waiting for her to bring it up, so she could offer to be there for him.**

**"Yeah, around 12:00," he told her.**

**"If it's okay with you, I can come and have lunch with you." When he didn't respond, she offered another option. "Or, we can go out to eat."**

**"That's okay, you don't have to."**

**"I want to." Ben glanced her way and saw her giving him a genuine concerned look. He looked away.**

**"Ms..I mean Kate," he started slowly. "How did my mom die?"**

**The silence this time was awkward. **

**"I think you should talk to your dad about-"**

**"He won't talk to me. I'm asking you."**

**"Ben,..I can't just..."**

**"Yes you can," he argued, while keeping his voice even and submissive. "Dad doesn't have to know you told me."**

**They reached a red light, and Kate was forced to fully listen to him now. She dropped her head and he was again met with her expression of guilt.**

**"It's complicated." She turned to him with serious eyes. "Please, don't ask me about that."**

**He could feel his own feelings stirring within him; much of it was anger.**

**"Mother's day is coming up," he said quietly. "I think I'm old enough to understand."**

**"I'm sorry," she whispered.**

**Ben found he didn't have what it took to push any further. His lip was already trembling slightly and he knew it wouldn't be good to walk into class upset. He turned away, deciding he would have to be more patient and learn later.**

**"That's okay about the luncheon," he managed to say. "I don't want...I mean, it's fine not to come."**

**It was his best way of telling her he didn't want to be in her company. He'd stopped allowing her to replace his mother on such important dates when he turned nine. Kate didn't respond to her denied request. Ben sat in wonder and anger as she continued to drive him to school.**

**Kate pulled up to the curb. Ben pulled his backpack on and prepared to leave.**

**"She fell," she suddenly said. Ben looked around, but Kate was staring straight ahead. "She fell, down a hole, that was meant for something else. It was a mistake. There was an explosion, but it wasn't her fault." She finally looked at him with tears on the brim of her eyes. "I'm sorry."**

**He didn't know what to say, let alone think. He was in shock, but then he felt numb. He glanced away in thought, then looked back at Kate once more. Ben hated he was surfacing painful memories for her. It wasn't the whole truth, but it was more than enough for him.**

**Without saying anything, Ben slowly left the car and made his way towards the building. He tried not to think as he walked. **

_**FLASH**_

James got to his feet while Kate helped Ben up.

"Are you okay?" Kate asked him. The boy nodded. "You're sure?"

"Son of a bitch," James muttered as he looked down at him.

"Well congratulations," said Miles. "Looks like you get another chance to be a dad."

"Not if the real Ben's here," he growled. "What the hell are we supposed to do with him?"

"What do you mean?" Kate asked. She was currently helping to brush the dirt off Ben's clothes. "We can't just leave him here."

"I'm not saying that," he growled.

"Then what are you saying?"

James couldn't answer. He didn't know why, but he was suddenly feeling angry towards the boy. He could only assume it was due to him asking for his mother, and the realization that Juliet wouldn't be around to help with him. Now it looked like it was all on him.

"Nothing," he muttered as he walked away.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Miles called after him.

"To the beach, like we planned," he yelled back, without turning around.

"Now what?" Miles asked.

"We go after him," said Kate as she pulled the boy into her arms.

"Whewes mommy?" Ben asked again.

Kate didn't know how to answer him. She felt it was the father's job to break the news. At the moment, she thought the best she could do was keep the subject quiet until James decided to do something about it.

"Sssshhh, it's okay. You're going with your daddy for a while okay."

"I want mommy!" he whined.

"Mommy can't be with you right now." It was a struggle for her to keep the emotion out of her voice.

"Why?" he pressed.

Gently she laid his head against her shoulder, and rubbed circles into his back.

"Just try to rest okay." She hoped it would be enough to quiet him. Luckily for her, he followed her command.

Up ahead James charged on in the direction of the beach. Considering how badly everything had gone, he didn't expect much relief to come from their first home, but it was the only thing that seemed to make sense. He didn't want to go after Jack and Hurley to help Sayid. Right now, he simply wanted to be alone, but he knew the chances were slim since Ben had somehow appeared. He could only imagine how it would be if and when he ran into the adult version.

After much walking, the familiar beach came into his view. He watched as the ocean's waves rolled up, creating a sense of peace. James's gaze focused on the uppper half of the beach where a small group of familiar faces were gathered. He noticed Richard collecting firewood, along with Frank, their one time chopper pilot. There was a dark haired woman he didn't recognize, who was seated on a log and staring out into the ocean in misery. Closer to the front was Sun who was fixing a tarp.

James stepped out from the cover of the shrubs and headed towards them. In a way, he hoped the beach would be deprived of life, but at the same time he was pleased to see old faces. Sun was the first to look up and take notice. She smiled and made her way towards him. James put on a smiling face as she embraced him.

"Sawyer, where have you been?"

"Not sure you'd believe me if I told you Tokyo rose," he said with a smirk. He then turned to greet Frank with a firm handshake.

"Long time no see," he said.

"Same to you," said James. He acknowledged Richard with a nod, and was then confronted by the dark haired woman.

"I'm Ilana."

"Well, well, well, a new castaway?"

"Not quite. I came here for a reason," she stated.

"Seems you're not the only one," James said as he thought of Jack.

Their reunion was interrupted as they took notice of Miles and Kate approaching the fold. James gritted his teeth at the hassle that was to come from explaining the boy in Kate's arms.

"Kate, you're back." Sun moved in for a hug and Kate set Ben down.

"It's good to see you Sun," she greeted.

"It's nice to know none of you got rescued while we were gone," Miles said while observing the beach dwellers.

"Hey, I didn't plan on needing rescuing in the first place," said Frank. "Thought I was headed straight for Guam, only I ended up here."

"Maybe someone should warn you about drinking and flying," Miles remarked.

"Kate, who is, this?" Sun asked, causing everyone to take further notice of the frightened little boy standing next to Kate.

James caught Kate looking at him, but he turned away. Right now, he was considering coming up with a quick lie.

"He's a boy, we found...lost," Kate covered. James looked around at her, quirking an eyebrow. She had understood the trouble of explaining like he had. He looked at Miles who looked as if he thought it was ridiculous.

"A boy?" asked Ilana. "In the jungle by himself?"

"Yes," Kate said quietly.

Sun bent down to the boy's level and smiled at him.

"Hello, my name is Sun, what's yours?"

The boy shrunk against Kate's leg, but replied nonetheless.

"Ben," he answered.

"Ben?" Sun confirmed.

"Linus," he finished.

James could feel the change in the atmosphere. He didn't have to look around to know their expressions.

"I didn't know Linus had a kid," said Frank.

"He doesn't," James spoke up before Richard could clarify. He looked around as they all turned to him. "I do. He's mine, and Juliet's."

"I don't understand?" said Sun.

"He's Benjamin Linus, from the past, when he was a kid."

The simple explaination was not nearly enough to help them. Sun, Frank, Richard, and Ilana stood staring back at him in shock. Kate had turned to distracting Ben from his confession while Miles pretended not to be apart of any of it.

"Looks like we've got some chatting to do," said James with a sigh.

"Either way," said Frank slowly, "Benjamin Linus from the future's not gonna like this."

**Yeah, it's bound to be awkward if and when Big Ben and little Ben collide. So, James, Kate, Miles and little Ben have made it to the beach. What's been going on since they were away? Keep reading and reviewing.**


	6. Chapter 5: Too Far Gone

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost**

**Okay, so we last left off with the idea that older future Ben's not gonna like little Ben being here. So will the meeting occur? What will the others do now?**

Chapter 5: Too Far Gone

Every fiber of his being kept telling him it was pointless, but he kept talking. No matter how many sarcastic responses he gave himself in his head, James still explained his impossible journey into the past. Miles barely offered anything besides a sarcastic reply he himself might be giving, if he wasn't so intent on getting Sun, Frank, Ilana, and Richard to believe him. Older Ben was supposedly off gathering firewood, which James was grateful for.

Frank did relieve some of his fears by stating he could buy the story, considering he was flying the Ajira plane to Guam, but mysteriously ended up back on the island, specifically on a prepared runway. It gave him little encouragement to discuss how Benjamin Linus became his son. During the discussion, Kate was keeping little Ben distracted by helping him build sand castles at the edge of the beach. They all tossed a glance at him every so often. James ended by stating what Jack had done, and how it had contributed to Juliet's death. Silence followed, but James opened it up for further discussion.

"So...any questions?" he smarly asked.

"That's, some story," said Frank. "Beats the hell out of mine."

"I can't believe Jin's been in the Dharma Initiative, all this time," Sun gasped.

"He was good at his job," James said, "but he was dying to get back to you. He came back with us."

"What? Why didn't he-"

"He's off helping Jack and Hurley help Sayid," Miles explained. "They went off to some temple."

Sun got to her feet, looking quite determined.

"I've got to find him," she declared.

"Hold on a sec," James cried as he too got to his feet. "The only thing you're gonna do is get yourself lost. I don't even know where this temple is, and neither do you. You waited this long, and I think you can wait a little longer for him to come back."

Sun gazed at him, just as the others were, and James understood why. It was not often he spoke in such a way.

"Guess I was right, fatherhood did soften you up," said Miles with a quirky grin.

James glanced over at Ben who had decided to storm through one of his sand castles like Godzilla while Kate watched, laughing.

"It's not fatherhood," he clarified. "It's losing Juliet." He settled back down and bowed his head. They all fell quiet. Soon enough, Sun reluctantly took her seat.

"I still can't believe it," said Richard, causing James to look up. Richard was staring hard at Ben. "A three year old Benjamin Linus, and you brought him back from the past."

"Well believe it cause he standing right over there," said James. "And I already told you we ain't the ones who brought him. Your guess is as good as mine as how it happened."

"Yeah, but, doesn't that, change things somehow?" Frank asked.

"He's not supposed to be here, but I suppose we'll just have to deal with it," said Ilana bitterly as she watched him.

"What about Ben?" Richard asked, and upon confused looks, he elaborated. "The present Ben. How is he going to deal with this? None of this makes sense. He never once mentioned that you and Juliet were his parents. Why wouldn't he remember that?"

"That's a good question," said Miles as he too looked at James.

"How the hell should I know. Maybe he always knew."

"If he had, do you really think he would have treated you the way he has?" Ilana questioned, causing James to turn a dark glare on her. He had yet to fully learn anything about her, but he was wary of her nonetheless.

"Who the hell are you to ask me that? You don't know me or what I've gone through."

"Well, I have learned," said Ilana, "Some things from Ben himself."

"Why don't you just go ask him?" Miles asked James.

"Like I give a damn," he growled, as he felt an odd twisting sensation in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't imagine facing the modern day Ben now; not after three years of raising him, or attempting to raise him, as a child. "He comes back, don't none of you say nothing about this."

"O-kay," Miles said slowly. "I think that'll make dinner time, _fun_."

"I mean it Miles." He tossed another look at the boy he'd claimed as his son. His time in Dharma had come to an end, as did his time with Juliet. It made him wonder if his slowly growing relationship with the boy was over as well. A part of him thought he should somehow get Ben to raise himself, but he didn't feel right about it. In more ways than one, he found the idea of two Bens in the same time space, disturbing. "I don't know what this changes, or if it changes anything at all. But, he don't need to know nothing. Neither of them do."

"I don't know. I mean, I was in the same space as myself," Miles started, "as a baby. Nothing happened. I didn't explode."

"Yeah well, this is different." James watched the boy, and began to wonder what could be done to make it all right.

"So what are we gonna do?" Miles asked. "What are you gonna do?"

James said nothing. He had no idea what he was going to do when he faced the Ben he despised and nearly killed.

_**FLASH**_

**Homework was not an easy task for Ben to get through; not with Kate's confession of what happened to his mother roaming around in his head. Even though he had refused Kate's offer to meet him at the Mother's Day luncheon, he allowed her to pick him up after school. She was determined to do something special for him, so as a treat she took him out for ice-cream. Ben tried to maintain a carefree facade, but he suspected Kate knew what really occupied his mind. **

**He laid on his back on his bed with his history textbook against his raised legs as he read his assigned chapter. Normally, history grabbed his full attention, but he found he could barely take in what he was reading. After a while he set it down and considered confronting his dad about the matter. He quickly decided against it.**

**Instead of returning to his assignment, he turned to **_**Islands of the Great Pacific**_**. He didn't know why, but lately he had been drawn to the idea of beaches and tropical getaways. He supposed it was because he felt trapped with his father at times. **

**A knock on his doorway interrupted his reading. He quickly tossed the book aside when he noticed his dad standing in the doorway, seemingly frowning at him.**

**"Whatcha' reading?"**

**"Nothing," Ben answered innocently.**

**James entered the room and grabbed the book Ben attempted to throw out of sight. He took one look at the cover, and his frown deepened.**

**"What the hell is this? Ain't you got homework to do?"**

**"I'm working on it, but I thought, I'd take a break."**

**"No breaks!" he ordered. "You slack up once, you'll keep doing it. And what are you reading this for anyways?"**

**"I just, thought it was interesting," he said as he absent mindedly played with the covers of his bed. He found he couldn't look him in the eyes.**

**"You know you're not supposed to read this stuff. You want something to read, pick up a book about the rainforest." James tossed the book onto the bed. "That goes back to the library tomorrow."**

**Without looking up, Ben nodded. He never understood why his father had a strong hatred of islands and anything tropical. He knew there were worse things he could be reading, but he acted as if it was the worst. Either way, Ben didn't argue or make a point that it was harmless. He tried standing his ground when he first developed an interest in islands, but it resulted in his dad taking the belt to his backside. Ben swore he could still feel the sting from it. From that day on, Ben realized what kind of a man his father was. He was the kind who wouldn't tolerate fights or disrespect. He was the one to remain in control. It was his law with no arguments. Kate had gotten onto him when she found out what he'd done, creating the first and last fight between them. Afterwards, Ben felt Kate had her foot on both sides of the matter.**

**"You hear me?"**

**"Yes," Ben said quietly.**

**"Yes what?"**

**"Yes sir," he said as he met his eyes.**

**"Good. Now, get your homework done and get ready for bed," he ordered before turning to leave.**

**"Can you, help me?" There were minor moments where Ben felt he could reduce his strict behavior. James teethered near the door as he considered it.**

**"Not tonight. I'm bushed. Just, give it your best."**

**Another thing Ben found was that it was sometimes hard for his dad to give compliments. Ben welcomed every one he could get.**

**When his dad left, Ben picked up the island book and gazed at it sadly. There was no getting around his command, as his dad did like to inspect his room from time to time to make sure he had nothing that met his disapproval. He stuffed it into his backpack and turned back to his homework. He decided from then on he would try and forget about islands. Such a bold decision, he discovered, was starting to create a form of anger within him that he had never felt before. It seemed to have come out of no where and caused his heart to start racing. It was strong enough to get him to fling his textbook across the room.**

**Ben looked at the spot where his dad had previously been standing, and wondered if he was angry with him. The answer was clear. For once it didn't have anything to do with his dad giving him a command or retaining information. He was angry with him, for simply being himself.**

**For now, Ben tried to forget about that particular emotion as well.**

_**FLASH**_

Late afternoon had come, but strangely enough what didn't come was the future Ben Linus. Ilana and Richard had gone off looking for him when it was decided that someone should. Sun had made another another argument to find Jin, but Kate was talking her out of it.

"Sun, Sun, trust me. He was fine when he left. He'll be back, I promise."

James watched with a feeling of bitterness. He looked at it like a lie. He had felt she had promised him the same thing about his love, but Juliet died anyways.

"Whewes mommy?"

James looked down at the boy who was sitting next to him near his old tent. All day he was looking for signs that he somehow knew this time; as if being in 2008 triggered everything he'd done as an adult. So far, Ben didn't appear to be affected by his own time traveling experience. As far as James was concerned, nothing had changed except the fact that his mommy wasn't around.

"Don't know kiddo, maybe she got tired of us and left."

"She wouldn't of left!" he argued as he got to his feet.

"Then I don't know what to tell you short-stop."

Ben pouted for a bit then looked all around before looking back at James.

"I want to go home!"

"Me too," James said with a sigh, bitterly.

"I want to go home, now!" he shouted.

"Pipe down!" he yelled. He emphasized it with a glare. "You think I don't want to go home! You think I want to be here, on this damn island! Well I don't damnit! And the reason this crap keeps happening to me, is because of you!"

He didn't care how cold he sounded. He didn't care that he had clearly hurt the kid's feelings as he was starting to tear up.

"Don't you start none of that crying," he warned.

Ben didn't heed him. He burst into tears. James groaned and turned away.

"Sawyer! What are you thinking?" Kate exclaimed as she walked up to the boy and pulled him into her arms.

"What am I thinking?" he said. "I'm thinking this ain't fair."

"Look, I understand how you're feeling-"

"Do you?" he challenged.

"Yes, I do," she answered coldly. "It's been hard on all of us, but don't take it out on Ben."

"Why the hell not? He's practically the one that got us in this mess. He was responsible for the boat blowing up, and hitting that wheel to send us back in time, or did you forget Miles's story."

"From what you told me, John was the one responsible for you ending up in 1977. And it doesn't matter now. He's just a-"

"Repeat Juliet all you want," he interrupted. "But, someone's got to pay for all this."

Kate patted the back of Ben's head and made shushing noises.

"Don't go back to blaming him," Kate begged. "Juliet would want you to-"

"Thanks to your boyfriend, and thanks to him, I'll never know what Juliet would want."

James leaned back into his tent with nothing more to say. Kate was trying to think of something to say, but didn't get to as she was distracted by Ilana's return. James straightened up as she approached.

"Well?" Kate asked.

"I couldn't find him," she said with a cautious look at the boy on her shoulder. "It's like he disappeared."

"Where would he go? I thought you said he wasn't leader of the Others anymore," Kate questioned.

"He's not. There's another leader. Locke," she stated.

Both Kate and James traded a look.

"Locke's dead," James clarified.

"Yes he is, but there is someone impersonating him."

"Great," James sighed as he got to his feet. He took a few steps away when he noticed someone making their way out of the jungle. At first he feared it might be Ben, but it turned out to be Richard.

"Any luck?" Ilana asked.

"No, I didn't see him," said Richard. James couldn't help noticing he looked stricken. "He probably went to join Locke."

"He wouldn't do that," said Ilana with much certainty.

"With all do respect, you don't know Ben like I do."

"After he made his confession to me, he wouldn't just leave. He wanted to stay with us."

"What kind of confession?" James asked. He didn't know why he was curious to know.

"That's between us."

"Oh really?"

"James," Kate warned, reminding him of Juliet's warnings.

"It doesn't matter," Richard suddenly said, his eyes wide. "I think, Ilana's right. He didn't leave."

"Then where the hell is he?" James asked.

"Nowhere," Richard stated, in a disturbing way as he stared in shock at the three year old version of the man they were searching for. "He's gone. He disappeared."

**James seems to have a strict 'no reading about islands' rule, while the other version of James is starting to despise little Ben. And now it looks like Big Ben's completely vanished. Is it the universe's way of course correcting, or is something else going on here? Keep reading guys!**


	7. Chapter 6: No Connection

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost**

**Okay, I know Sawyer comes across as a harsh parent, but in comparison to Roger, I feel like he's less severe. Roger was one for getting drunk and ignoring what was going on with Ben, while Sawyer's keeping Ben on a strict leash to make sure he follows the right path. He may be taking it farther than what Juliet would like, but he is keeping tabs on what he's doing, out of fear that he'll become the villainous Ben we all know. Ben did mention Sawyer will compliment him on occasion. It doesn't mean I'm defending his actions, but it does show how history appears to be repeating itself as Ben's growing up with a father not too unlike Roger, and without a mother. But will history really repeat itself?**

Chapter 6: No Connection

In all honesty, James didn't know what to think or feel at Richard's claim that the adult Ben Linus had disappeared. For the most part he didn't care, but there was the other half that was curious as to what it meant. His curiosity quickly evaporated as he looked at the boy in Kate's arms. Ben Linus wasn't completely gone. He had been replaced, by his younger self. It didn't change James's current opinion.

"What are we going to do about this?" Richard asked.

"Who says we got to do anything," said James. "He's gone, so ain't that a good thing?"

The others stared back at him, but didn't say a word. He could see Richard trying to work up a good defense. James didn't know why, but he sensed Richard wasn't as close to Ben as he once was. He supposed something happened between them while he was gone, or he was still too shaken up by little Ben.

"Well, I don't know about that, but there is something we need to take care of," said Ilana.

"What's that?" asked Kate.

"The candidates," she answers. Ilana didn't explain further. Instead she walked away and starting calling Miles, Sun, and Frank over.

"Here we go again freckles," James muttered to Kate as they moved closer to the forming group.

"What's going on?" Frank asked.

"You guys find Linus?" asked Miles.

"He's disappeared. We don't know what happened to him. But it doesn't appear to be affecting the child." She glanced at Ben who had come to the end of his crying, but was still sniffling. "Anyways, we have another matter to handle. Jacob is dead."

"Who the hell is Jacob?" James asked.

"He was the protector of this island, and now that he's gone, it's up to me to protect his candidates."

"Candidates?" Kate questioned.

"Yes. Some of you are on a list, to replace Jacob."

"Who's on the list?" Miles asked curiously.

"Who the hell cares," said James.

"You should care," Ilana argued. "You're one of them."

"Don't count on it sweetheart. I'm done with all of you."

James marched away without a second glance back at any of them. The last thing he wanted to do was participate in more island madness. In his opinion it did more damage than good. He wasn't, however, surprised to hear footsteps rushing after him.

"Where are you going?" Kate asked.

"Away from here," he answered without tossing a look at her or Ben.

"Away where?"

"Does it matter?" He stopped and faced her with a glare. "Don't you give me that look."

"You can't leave now. Not like this."

"I can do whatever the hell I want," he growled. "I ain't tied down no more, so it's my choice."

He took up the journey once more.

"What about Ben?"

The question fell on deaf ears. He marched on, without having to hear her footfalls behind him. He was alone again as he headed into the jungle.

_**FLASH**_

**Ben rolled over in his bed as he continued to suffer from an impossible sleep. He didn't know why he was finding it difficult. He had never had sleeping problems before. Just when he thought he might actually be able to fall back to sleep, he felt a gentle hand brush his cheek. **

**"Ben," said a gentle female voice. "Time to wake up."**

**He opened his eyes and found himself staring back at a beautiful woman. He jumped and raised himself up. She was perched right at the edge of his bed, and observing him calmly. Ben could do nothing but stare. She had striking blue eyes and long slightly curled blonde hair framing her face. After a minute he realized she was someone his father had described to him long ago.**

**"Mom?"**

**She gave him a gentle smile, and a nod that made her appear uncertain.**

**"Yes Ben. It's time for you to wake up. You have a lot to learn today."**

**"I...I don't understand," he stammered. "You're not, you're dead."**

**"Nothing is what it seems," she answered quietly. **

**"What do you mean?"**

**"You'll understand one day."**

**Ben buttoned his lip and really took in her appearance. He had no pictures of her. He had nothing but a description, and now that the description had come to life, he didn't know what to say. All he knew, was that he wanted the moment to last forever.**

**"I should go now."**

**"No!" he cried. "I...there's things I need to ask you. Things I need to know about you, and me."**

**"I know you must have a lot of questions, but I'm afraid I can't answer them. You'll have to figure things out on your own."**

**Ben didn't know why, but suddenly he felt himself becoming quite sad. **

**"Mom," he cried, as tears began to run down his face. "I missed you."**

**She lifted her fingers up to his eyes and brushed a tear away.**

**"I know Ben. I've missed you too. Maybe we can meet again, when you understand."**

**"But, I need you now," he cried. "I feel lost."**

**His mother got to her feet.**

**"It's not time for you to understand."**

**Her soft smile faded as she headed towards the door.**

**"MOM!" Ben found he was practically frozen in his bed. He was forced to watch as his mother walked out of his room, but not before giving him one last look.**

**When she closed the door, he leaped out of bed and hurried to it. He opened the door and screamed out for her, but she was gone. The rush of emotions coursing through him did not block out the sudden tapping against his window. Ben slowly turned around and was startled to see a bald man standing outside, staring at him, with one eye that was completely white and the other completely black. He cried out, but in reality, he jumped up in his bed.**

**It took a few minutes for him to realize it had all been a dream; a very realistic one. His heart was still pounding, and his breath was coming in short gasps. Though it was a dream, he had no doubt in his mind that it was his mother. But when it came to the creepy man, he had no idea.**

**When the door opened, he was startled.**

**"Good you're up. Get ready for school," his father demanded.**

**Ben simply stared back, but managed a nod. His father saw nothing suspicious in his expression. He couldn't tell that his son had expected his mother and not him. Ben made good on the command and started getting himself ready, but he couldn't stop thinking about the dream. **

**All through breakfast, the beautiful blonde circled his mind. He tried to doubt that it had actually happened, but he couldn't. Her gentle nature and grace had been just what he'd always pictured her possessing. In-between his daydreaming, he tossed curious looks at his father. For the longest time he considered the man to be lucky to have seen and spent time with her, but now Ben felt they were on the same level. Still, he didn't want to share it by telling him.**

**"Something up?" his dad suddenly asked. Ben stared back at him as he briefly considered telling him.**

**"No," he said quietly as he dropped his head. **

**It was all just a dream anyways. His mother hadn't really been there, so what did it matter. Ben wanted it to mean something; needed it to be more than a dream. He'd never once dreamed about her before, so why did his mind suddenly bring his dad's image of her to life?**

**He allowed the dream to follow him all the way to school, and plague him throughout the day. When Annie questioned him about his behavior, he simply explained that he hadn't had a good night's sleep, which was partially true. When he had come to the end of the day, he had come to the conclusion that such a dream or vision, needed to be discussed. He wouldn't talk it over with his dad, nor Annie, and not even Kate. He decided there was one other person who could possibly shed light on such a subject matter.**

**"Hey...you wanna come by my house today?" Annie asked as they headed for the pick up area. "You have to ask your dad though."**

**"Not today," he said quietly. "There's something I have to do."**

**"Oh, alright then," she answered, with an air of disappointment Ben didn't catch.**

**His mind was focused on a plan he wasn't sure he should carry out. For one thing he felt it was pointless, but for another, he felt it was risky. Nonetheless, he boarded the bus as he worked himself up to doing it. He did not get off at his usual stop. He stayed as the bus made two more stops away from his house. It was the third stop that made him leave his seat. One kid happened to notice he wasn't suppose to be there, but didn't question him. Ben exited the bus and headed down the sidewalk towards a simple faded yellow house. He stopped just outside the fence and took a deep breath. He let himself in and walked right up to the door. **

**He could just imagine how his dad might react if he knew he was visiting these people, especially considering the reason for it. His dad had brought him to meet them long ago, but the visitations stopped quickly enough. Since then, he'd been strongly advised not to have contact with them. He had a partial understanding of why.**

**After several knocks on the door, the main person he wasn't meant to have any contact with, answered. She was a young woman with frizzy blonde hair, who lacked a welcoming expression.**

**"Can I help you?" she asked.**

**"Um, Claire it's me, Ben. Remember?"**

**She looked him up and down several times, making him feel quite uncomfortable. Unlike Kate, he didn't feel the need not to call her by her first name as he somehow didn't look at her on the same level.**

**"Ben?" she asked darkly. He remembered the odd looks she used to give him, and he didn't like them one bit. "Oh...did James send you?"**

**"Well, Kate dropped me off," he lied. He felt a great twinge of guilt at lying since the 'no lying' rule was so well ingrained in his head from his dad. "I'm here to see Aaron."**

**"Oh, well," she paused and searched around. "Is Kate with you?"**

**"No, but, she'll pick me up."**

**"Yeah, alright then come in." She opened the door wider and allowed him entry. "How is she?"**

**"She's great," he answered awkwardly. **

**He wasn't surprised to hear her inquiring about Kate. He was aware that Claire was in his father's circle of friends, even though she was now on the far side of it, which caused her to become closer to Kate. Considering his dream and the way Claire made him feel, he wondered if he should have just bypassed her and turned to Kate instead.**

_**FLASH**_

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Miles, watch the language in front of the kid," Kate warned as he glanced over at Ben who was perched inside her old tent. He didn't appear to be paying attention to what was being said. Instead, he appeared to be nervous as he suckled his thumb and watched her.

She had given James enough time to consider his actions and turn back around. Three hours had gone by and there was no sign of him. She had made up her mind to pack a few supplies and head after him.

"You're going out there too?"

"Someone has to."

"And that someone, has to be you?" Miles asked as if she couldn't see the issue. "He just lost his girlfriend."

Kate froze and raised herself up slowly. She understood what Miles was warning her against. She knew if she were in his shoes, the last person she'd want visiting her was an ex-love. Still, she couldn't let it go.

"I'm aware of that Miles. But, Ben needs him. We need him." She stepped out of the tent and came face to face with Ilana.

"Where did he go?"

"I don't know," Kate answered. She still wasn't sure if she could trust Ilana so quickly. Ilana's reveal of why she had come to the island almost made Kate want to give the woman space as well, but there was no reason for her to flee as she apparently was not on the list. It didn't matter what she did.

"But you're going to find him?"

"I'm going to try," she stated.

"Good, because we need him back here. Jacob believes Richard knows what needs to happen next, and without James-"

"I'm not bringing him back for you," Kate said quickly.

"Fine. But I'm taking the group into the jungle. It's time to figure out how to stop Locke."

"Good luck with that," kate said in a rude, but sarcastic manner. She fixed a pack around her shoulder.

"Kate." She looked around to see Sun approaching. "Are you leaving?"

"I'm going to find Sawyer. Will you watch Ben?"

She could tell right away from Sun's expression what the answer would be.

"I'm sorry, but I...can't watch Ben. I'm going with Ilana so I can find my husband."

"They're both marked on the list as Kwon, but I'm not sure if it means her, or Jin," Ilana added, but Kate found she could care less right now.

"Right." She turned away from them and peeked into the tent. "Ben sweety. Time to go."

* * *

Kate knew it was stupid, but she had no other choice. With Ilana leading the group into blindly following Richard, there was no one left to take care of Ben; no one willing to do so, not even Richard. He appeared to still be in shock over the idea, and took it as some odd form of darkness he shouldn't become involved in. She had no other option than to carry him along through the jungle.

"Kate, this is a really dumb idea."

She turned to see that Miles had caught up to her.

"You have another idea?"

"Yeah, staying with the group. It's better than wandering off, and getting, eaten."

"I can take care of myself," she declared. "Why don't you go back."

"Back to that Ilana chick? I don't think so. I'm not even on her little list. I guess I'll come and watch you take care of yourself."

"Kate," Ben whined.

"Yes?"

"I want down," he answered as he wiggled in her grasp.

"Um..okay." She gently set Ben down.

She noticed ever since she'd pulled him into the trip, he'd kept up a somewhat miserable expression. She had more then told him he was coming rather than asked. When she expressed the fact that she was going to get his father, he didn't appear interested. Though she had raised Aaron for three years, it still did not make her a perfect mother figure.

"Stay close Ben, okay." She recalled giving him such an order long ago, when she and Sayid were saving him from Whitmore's men.

"Look, I can take care of him," Miles offered, in a way that didn't convince Kate he was being serious.

"I think I should leave that up to Sawyer."

"Why? He's not interested in the kid anymore. He's on his own."

Kate shook her head. She wouldn't believe it.

"What do you know about raising kids?" she asked smartly. For a moment Miles looked stunned.

"I was one, once."

She rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Ben, but he was gone. She looked all around the area, but he was no where in sight.

"Oh no," she gasped. She had completely forgotten about his tendency to disregard the order to stay put. "Ben!"

"Yeah, you're the perfect choice to look after the kid."

"Just shut up and help me find him. Ben!"

The last thing she needed was for him to disappear. She could imagine Sawyer taking the news easily enough, considering how he was currently feeling. But there was the fact that James had breathed life back into him, so Kate knew he would care.

"Ben!"

She feared calling too loudly, in case she attracted the wrong attention. Both she and Miles resorted to silently searching for him. Several minutes later resulted in nothing. Kate was left wondering if he was simply lost, or had simply vanished from existence, like his older self.

**So Ilana spoke up about the real mission, but James, Kate, and even little Ben could care less right now. And yes, Juliet has returned, but in some sort of dream? Dreams seem to be telling on this show, so it must be important right? Also, Claire's here, and you can bet she might have some interesting things to say. This chapter was really driven on the women figures in Ben's life, and in time, you'll come to see how much of an impact that has on him.**

**By the way, I recalled Miles telling Claire he was good with kids, so he had to bring it up here again. But it seems Ben has mysteriously disappeared.**

**Keep reviewing and I'll keep writing.**


	8. Chapter 7: Old Friends

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost**

I know its kind of been a while since I updated, but I have been preoccupied with other projects. Hopefully, I'll get back into a regular routine with this story. So last time, Ben decided he wanted to confide in someone, and that someone is Aaron. But will such a chat really make a difference?

Chapter 7: Old Friends

**There was nothing too abnormal about Claire's house. The only thing that was noticeable was all the decorative references to islands and jungles. The household art she had on the light blue walls were of beaches, palm trees, and even plain island landscapes. The only image out of place was a larger painting of a couple of polar bears, which hung over the couch and had always managed to catch his eye in the past. Ben recalled asking Claire about it the first time he visited. In response, Claire broke into a meltdown and started accusing him of trying to hurt her and Aaron. Both Kate and his father ushered her to another room where they proceeded to calm her. The reaction scared him enough to want to stay away from both her and Aaron, but at the time, his dad was still trying to help her. They had returned to the house, and Ben never questioned Claire about anything again. The only information he'd been given about her was that she suffered from mental illness, which Ben found hard to believe for some reason.**

**Ben turned to Claire who was locking several locks on her door. His dad had told him she had a strong fear of intruders, but from the other side, it made him feel trapped. **

**"Can I...get you anything?" she asked as she wandered over to him. He couldn't help noticing how nervous yet serious she appeared as she observed him.**

**"No thank you," he said, after swallowing thickly and glancing at the locked door. **

**After a few more minutes of staring at him, she headed down the hall to Aaron's room, which was close to her bedroom. Ben watched as she approached Aaron's room while keeping a careful eye on him.**

**"Aaron, Ben's here to see you. You want to talk to him?" Ben didn't hear the response, but Claire ushered him forward. "I'll be in the kitchen."**

**She left Ben to approach Aaron who was sitting at the edge of his bed playing video games. The blonde, blue eyed boy smiled as he came in.**

**"Long time no see."**

**"Yeah."**

**"Well, sit down."**

**Ben did so and took notice of his room. It was the typical room for an eleven year old, which was filled with the kind of stuff any kid would like. In comparison with his own room, Ben realized Aaron was lucky to have Claire to provide such things, even if she was slightly crazy. Ben was lucky if he recieved a toy from his old man on Christmas. He watched Aaron play his game with much envy.**

**"Stupid zombies," Aaron cursed as he tried to get his character to shoot after a surprise attack. "No matter what gun I use, they always get me at that corner." Aaron glanced at him after noticing Ben had nothing to say about zombies. "So, why'd you come after all this time?"**

**"Couldn't I have just come to visit?"**

**"If that were true, you'd being saying 'hi' to me at school," he said with a sly smile. **

**Ben looked away with some shame. Since his dad had broken them off Claire, Ben had somewhat broken his relationship off with Aaron as well, even though they went to the same school. They didn't share any classes, but he did see Aaron wandering about. There had been moments where they needed to speak, but the friendship was practically over. Annie's attempts to repair it had failed.**

**"Well, uh, sorry about-"**

**"No point in apologizing. I don't blame you." Aaron turned his eyes back to the game. "It's not like I get notice from anyone else, cause of her."**

**"Well, that's kinda what, I wanted to talk to you about."**

**"My mom?" Aaron asked with a suspicious look.**

**"I guess," Ben answered with a shrug. Aaron paused the game and turned to him.**

**"Your dad put you up to this?"**

**"No. I came here on my own."**

**"To talk about my mom?" Aaron was quickly becoming defensive. **

**"That...and my mom," he answered calmly. He looked away, unsure of how he wanted to go about this. Now that he admitted why he'd come, he found it ridiculous.**

**"You know for Mother's day, I convinced mom to go to this tropical restaurant." Ben looked up and figured Aaron decided to make it easier on him to discuss the subject. "You know how she is about that kind of island stuff. She loves it and sometimes goes crazy over, or she hates it and acts all, **_**weird**_**. But she wasn't weird this time. I feel like, I wouldn't even care if she did get all weird."**

**It was a mark of how much Aaron cared about his mother. He had put their differences aside. Ben tried to imagine doing the same with his father, but it only made him angry.**

**"Did you go to the Mother's day thing at school with Kate?"**

**Ben shook his head. Aaron was really the only other kid he knew who didn't attend anything at school with his parent.**

**"I had a...oh this is stupid," Ben started as he stood. He couldn't discuss it afterall.**

**"No wait." Aaron turned the game off and faced him completely. "You might as well talk to me since you're here. Did your dad do something to you?"**

**"No. It's...I had this dream, about my mom." Aaron furrowed his brows, so Ben kept going. "I don't know if it means anything...or..."**

**"You came all the way over here to tell me about some dream?"**

**"Well it wasn't just any dream to me," he said defensively. "I've never dreamed about her before. I don't even have pictures of her, but I know it was her. I guess I thought...I wanted to know what it's like, to have a mom."**

**Aaron scratched his head nervously before answering.**

**"Well what's it like to have a father, cause I don't have one," he said, almost angrily. "It's like having any kind of parent, as far as I know. I'm not really the best person to ask, considering my mom's crazy. I still don't know why you're coming to me with this."**

**"I guess I don't either," Ben admitted. "Guess I could've asked Annie, but..."**

**"She wouldn't understand? Not like us. Her parents are perfect." Ben supposed it was true, but he also supposed his reasons for coming also had to do with a hidden desire to repair his connection with Aaron. "So what are you gonna do?"**

**"Don't know," Ben confessed. "But I gotta do something. Something doesn't...feel right."**

**"Hey boys." Ben jumped at the sudden arrival of Claire standing in the doorway. "Are you hungry for a snack?"**

**"Sure mom."**

**"Actually, I think I'm gonna go home. Dad will wonder where I am if he shows up early."**

**"You're not gonna stay? You just got here," Aaron started.**

**"Aaron," Claire broke in seriously. "It's probably for the best."**

**Ben caught the frustrated look Aaron gave her, but said nothing.**

**"I'll just, go call Kate," Ben said as he left the room.**

* * *

**Ben waited at the kitchen counter for his ride while Aaron enjoyed a pb&j sandwhich at the table. Claire took it upon herself to start cleaning the house, while passing cautious looks at Ben. **

**"She should be here soon," Claire said quietly when she neared Ben.**

**"You sure you don't want anything?" Aaron asked.**

**"No I'm good." Ben caught Claire looking a bit relieved at his answer. Another thing he knew about Claire, was that she didn't particularly like to cater to guests.**

**"Are you...still living with your dad?" she asked him.**

**"Yeah."**

**"Has he..told you anything, about, anything?" **

**Ben stared back at her, dumbfounded. He glanced at Aaron who gave him a simple nod to tell him it was normal for her to act that way. **

**"Uh, like what?" Ben dared ask.**

**"Like,...anything," she said, as if the question was clear enough.**

**Ben gave a shrug. "Not really, I guess."**

**Claire nodded after a minute then dropped her dusting rag and quickly entered the kitchen. She grabbed a broom and started sweeping the kitchen floor in a neurotic manner. Ben turned his gaze from her and started wishing for Kate to hurry.**

**"Funny," she said under her breath. Ben turned to her, but she wasn't looking at him. Her head was bowed as she swept near him. "thought he would have told you about the island by now."**

**"What island?" Ben asked curiously. **

**"And all the things you did there...nearly got us **_**killed**_**."**

**Ben stared at her, wide eyed, then glanced at Aaron who looked equally alarmed. Claire took to muttering incoherently under her breath as she continued to sweep. Not once did she look up at either of them. Ben wanted to question what she meant, but was fearful of her reaction.**

**"Mom..are you-"**

**Aaron was interrupted by the doorbell.**

**"That must be Kate," Claire said as she quietly left the kitchen. Sure enough, it was Kate, who was looking concerned.**

**"Hey Claire," she greeted as Claire embraced her in a hug. "How are you?"**

**"Oh I'm good, I'm always good. Especially when you're here," Claire rambled.**

**Kate gave a nod, then turned her attention to Ben. **

**"Ben, are you okay?"**

**"Of course he is," Claire answered for him. "What, did you think that I would do something to him?"**

**"No," Kate said, with concern for her evident in her voice. "I just wondered why he didn't call James."**

**"Why would he come here? He's done with me you know."**

**"Claire that's not true," Kate countered. "He does care about you."**

**Claire fidgeted on the spot.**

**"You know what, I think I've got a lot of things to do," she said as a way of saying it was time for them to go.**

**"Right. Come on Ben."**

**Ben quietly got to his feet and followed Kate towards the door.**

**"See yah Ben!" Aaron called.**

**"Yeah, see yah!" As he passed Claire, he felt a shiver strike him at the dark look she was giving him. He hurried away from her and out the door.**

**He didn't want to think about the odd thing Claire had said. When it came to someone who didn't appear to be 'all there', he knew it was best not to take them too seriously. Strangely enough, he found her words curious enough to consider.**

**"Let's go," he said as he made for Kate's car, but she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.**

**"What were you doing here? You know your dad told you never to come-"**

**"I wanted to see Aaron."**

**"About what?"**

**"We can still be friends, can't we?" he asked innocently. He refused to share anything more than that. It wasn't her business. He only needed her for a quick way back home. "We go to the same school."**

**"So you decide to drop in now?"**

**Ben shrugged and looked away from her. Kate sighed and turned away. **

**"I guess it doesn't matter, as long as you were just visiting."**

**"There's nothing else for me to do here, except talk to Claire."**

**"Did you?" she asked seriously.**

**"No."**

**"Did she say anything to you?"**

**"No." He hated that he had to lie to her again, but he couldn't bring himself to repeat it.**

**"Then your dad doesn't have to know. But, don't come over here again okay. At least not right now."**

**"But you and Claire are still friends, right?" Ben questioned, hoping it granted him another opportunity to visit Aaron without having to lie.**

**"But your dad and Claire aren't, and until they are...I don't want to have to lie for you." **

**"Okay."**

**The discussion about Claire and Aaron was dropped as he sat in the car. All in all, he felt he didn't get what he wanted from Aaron. In reality, he really didn't know what he wanted in response to his questions in the first place. He supposed, in the end, he simply wanted to confide in an old friend. Unfortunately, Claire's cryptic words stole all of his thoughts on his time with her son. It made him believe he was even more clueless about his father and his past than he thought.**

This was kind of a tough meeting to spin between Ben and Aaron, due to the reason of why he would go to him in the first place. But like himself, Aaron is raised by a single parent, who happens to be a mom. So really Ben is desiring to know what it's like to be raised by a mother, to get a handle on his own feelings and to see what he's missing out on. But Claire's still not all together there, so it leaves Ben a bit disatisfied, until Claire spills a bit about his old life. Will such info set the wheels turning in Ben's mind?

Keep reviewing guys!


	9. Chapter 8: Lost and Found

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost**

**Sorry it took a while for me to post, but I had issues with my computer. Also, I kind of fell away from Lost just a bit as I focused on another favored genre of mine, plus, I'm still working on my original series, so my attention may be a bit divided. It helps to know that people are still reading otherwise I might think people have lost interest. Either way, here's chapter 8.**

Chapter 8: Lost and Found

"Ben! Ben!"

Kate couldn't take silently searching for him. She had to risk calling his name.

"Will you be quiet!" Miles hissed. "You don't know what's out here."

"I don't care. I have to find him."

She had pushed the search farther into the jungle. She didn't believe Ben could have wandered off so far, but he was no where close by. There weren't even traces of him for her to follow. A voice in the back of her head kept saying he met the fate of his older self, but she wouldn't believe it until she combed the whole island.

"What are you gonna tell James?" Miles asked.

"I won't have to tell him anything," she remarked, "because I'm going to find him. We're going to find him."

"Yeah, thanks for including me." Kate paused near a tree to retrieve a water bottle. She tossed one to Miles, signifying it was time to take a break. Miles took a long drink, then decided to bring up a curious topic. "So...?"

"So what?" Kate asked as she looked at him with suspicion.

"What do you make about this candidate thing?"

"I don't think anything about it," she confessed. Her thoughts were solely on the boy and James. She didn't feel up to sorting out anymore unatural situations when it came to the island.

"You really don't care if you're one of them or not?"

"Nope."

"Well that's good, cause you're not," Miles told her.

Kate found she suddenly became interested.

"How do you know that?"

"I talked to Ilana about it before I left. I'm not on it either, so I guess we're free to do what we want."

"Doesn't matter," said Kate with a shake of her head. "I've got more important things to deal with."

She packed up the water and placed the pack back on as she began to take up the search again. Miles followed right behind without being told.

"Okay," said Miles. "But, I'm starting to think that chick might be on to something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know," Miles admitted. "Just the way she was talking about lists, and Jacob, oh and Locke who's supposed to be dead. And now Ben and the kid are gone."

"So what are you saying?" Kate asked as she tossed a curious look at him.

"Nothing," Miles said with a shrug. "Just throwing it out there."

Kate furrowed her eyebrows at him, but saw nothing in his expression that told her he knew what was happening. As far as she was concerned, the situation of the candidates was something she shouldn't bother to understand. She didn't believe it had anything to do with Ben or James, even if one of them was on the list.

* * *

He raised his balled fists to his eyes as he cried quietly from his seat on the jungle floor. He had no idea where he was, or how he had really gotten there in the first place. All he knew, was that he was far away from the Kate woman, and his dad. Never had he wanted his mother more.

"Mommy," he whined in between his cries.

He was sure nothing could relieve his fear except her. Strangely enough, he felt something that caused him to stop his crying. He tensed and took in the sudden silence of the jungle.

Ben had the feeling he was not alone. Slowly he dropped his hands from his eyes, and gasped in surprise. He wanted to run and even cry again or scream, but he was frozen as he stared back at what seemed to be some kind of monster staring at him. It was a large pillar of black smoke hovering so close, that Ben wasn't aware of anything else around him. He gave a few sniffles as the odd smoke observed him. He was no longer sure whether he should be afraid or not, but something in the back of his head found the smoke familiar.

After several minutes of them observing one another, the pillar of smoke pulled back and darted into the jungle. Ben was stunned. He got to his feet and stared in the direction where it had left. He didn't have long to contemplate it as he heard something rustling in the foliage behind him. He turned and fell back in surprise when a man stepped through.

"Hi there," he greeted politely, but Ben didn't respond. He simply took in the bald gentlemen who reminded him of an adventurous hunter he once saw on t.v. He even carried a small knife in one hand. The man smiled at him as he came forward and crouched to his level. "Looks like you got yourself good and lost."

Again Ben couldn't say anything. The man pocketed the knife then turned to observe him.

"No need to be afraid. My name is Locke, what's yours?"

"Ben," he managed to answer quietly. His mother had always warned him not to talk to strangers even though he had broken that rule a few times. It wasn't like the time he tried talking with the man known as Sayeed. In this case, the stranger was approaching him when neither of his parents were around.

"Well Ben, how did you get out here?"

Ben honestly didn't know. He felt like he had fallen asleep and was being gentlly rocked, but he didn't know how to explain it. In response, he simply shook his head.

"You don't know?" Locke guessed. "That's okay. It doesn't matter, because I'm going to help you, the way you helped me."

Ben didn't know what to make of this.

"Daddy," he said quietly. It was now Locke's turn to frown.

"You miss your daddy?" At that, Ben nodded. "Well, how about we go find your daddy."

"And mommy?"

"I'm afraid I can't find your mommy Ben. You've never really had one." Again, Ben was stumped by his words. "But maybe, I can help you see her again. Come."

Without waiting to gain permission from him, Locke bent down and scooped Ben into his arms. Ben felt the fear starting to come back and he started to whimper.

"Hey, hey, it's alright," Locke said soothingly. "You're alright, okay. Don't you remember me?"

Ben shook his head.

"Well that's alright. Most people don't." Locke smiled at him once more. "You're an interesting case Benjamin. Jacob may have been wrong to overlook you."

The name floated through Ben's mind with the tiniest hint of familiarity. When Locke slowly placed a hand on top of his head, he felt a shock of fear and witnessed a flash of a dying man burning in a fire. He stifled a cry, but his eyes widened as he continued to gaze at the smiling man.

Locke secured his grip on the boy as he turned and moved deeper into the jungle, farther away from Kate and Miles.

**Well there you go. The fake Locke has taken Ben. I know it was kind of a short chapter, but it is the beginning of much much more! Thanks you guys for the latest reviews! Keep keeping me posted that you're reading!**


	10. Chapter 9: Custody

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost**

**Thank you so much for the reviews guys! They really motivate me to keep going with this story no matter how long it takes. **

Chapter 9: Custody

No matter how strong the drink, James couldn't find any satisfaction in it. He set the half empty bottle of whiskey on the table and leaned against the wall from his place on the floor. His red eyes stared blankly ahead without truly taking in the state of what was once his and Juliet's bedroom.

Upon his arrival to the barracks, he had barely noticed the changes that had occured after living in Dharma's present day. They were rundown, as if the Others hadn't been occuppying the space. James didn't care what had happened to Dharmaville. He only cared about it's connections to Juliet. He had woven in out of the space until he reached their home from long ago, but there was one major difference with it; Ben's room within the home did not exist. It had been transformed into a typical spare room, creating the impression that it had never belonged to a child. He had barely glanced at it before making his way to his favored room. There were no old pictures of Juliet. Clearly one of adult Ben's men had been staying there and cleared them away. There was also the possibility that a few Dharma members had stayed rather than flee onto the sub. If that was the case, they could have disposed of the evidence of their stay, being they were considered traitors. Either way, Ben had never learned that he and Juliet raised him like real parents. The proof was gone. James couldn't help thinking that Juliet would be slightly disppointed.

"Damn," he mumbled. He grabbed the bottle again and drained the last of it. Afterwards, he threw it against the wall where it shattered.

After a moment he reached into his pocket and pulled out a simple gold ring. He had managed to slip it into his pocket when he and Juliet were packing to escape. Even if they had made it to the beach instead of the sub, he would have asked her to truly be his. He turned it in his fingers, and tried to imagine what she would've said if she had lived. Such rings held powerful meanings, but the one he held had never touched the finger he wanted to place it on, therefore it was meaningless. He tossed it in his hand a bit, before flinging it across the room.

_**FLASH**_

**James never considered himself to be the type of parent who constantly kept up with the whereabouts of his kid. The only reason he did so was because the kid he was taking care of was Benjamin Linus. He'd had twelve years to move past the idea that he would become the hated version he had come to know years ago, but the fact that he was growing up brought such a fear back into his head. It was the kind of thing that made him keep such tight boundaries on the boy. So when Ben didn't show up at home before him, he was angry. James waited in the front room, imagining that the boy was up to some kind of trouble. **

**It wasn't long before he saw Kate approaching the door with Ben right beside her.**

**"Where the hell have you been?" **

**"Sawyer, relax," Kate warned. **

**"I wanna know damnit." James wouldn't back down, so long as his suspicions were roused.**

**"I was just a little late coming from school," Ben said, with his head slightly bowed. **

**"Why?"**

**"Trying to get some information, in the library." This time the boy looked him square in the eyes. James turned to Kate who was giving him a concerned look.**

**"So what, you just decided to go fetch him?"**

**"He asked me too," she answered defensively. **

**"That'd better be all you're doing," James said to Ben, with a glare.**

**Having had enough of his interrogation, Ben hurried away to his room. **

**"Do you have to be so hard on him? Just for being a little late."**

**"It ain't just about lateness freckles," James told her. "It's breaking house rules. Least he start acting the way he shouldn't."**

**"Well, I understand that, but if you don't loosen the reins, he going to become that person," Kate warned.**

**"I don't think so," James growled. As many times as Kate tried to advise him on parenting, he never really appreciated it. There was no going to Claire about it either, so it was up to him to decide how to parent. "Loosening the reins is just the excuse he'll need to put one over on me."**

**"But-"**

**"Juliet wanted me to do this, so I'm doing it," he stated as he plopped back down in his chair, leaving Kate standing awkwardly before him. **

**"Fine, but I don't think it would kill you to be easier on him."**

**A knock on the door stole both of their attention. A portly man in a work jumpsuit was standing on his porch.**

**"Come on in Henry," James said. "Kate, this is one of my working buddies."**

**"Hi."**

**"How you doing," he greeted with a nod. "Didn't know you were dating James. Bout time too."**

**"We ain't dating, we're just old friends," he cleared up.**

**"Right, right, okay." James could tell he didn't believe him, but he didn't care. "So listen, the guys are setting up poker at Earnie's. Why don't you saddle up the kid with Kate here and join us."**

**James wasn't so sure he was in the mood for poker, and he rarely left the kid with a babysitter, for the imagined fear of coming home to a dead-sitter.**

**"I don't know Henry."**

**"Oh come on, I can watch Ben," Kate offered. "You should get out more."**

**James smirked and shook his head.**

**"It has been a while since I wooped your ass. What time?"**

_**FLASH**_

He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there, slumped against the floor, without any drive. Regardless, he got to his feet and slunk into the kitchen. He hoped it would be better than gazing at the bed in misery, but the kitchen was yet another strong reminder of Juliet. He scratched his head in frustration and kicked a chair aside. He had no idea on what to do now, except head back outside and sit on the porch, as he'd done long ago.

He sat down on the steps and stared out into the accursed jungle. He had no interest in returning to the camp, but he also didn't want to be alone.

"What the hell do I do now Juliet," he grumbled as he bowed his head. He knew what she would tell him if she could, but he just couldn't return to Ben, or the others.

Just then, a rustling sound directed his attention back to the jungle. Several of the trees were swaying and shaking as if something enormous were tumbling through them. James slowly got to his feet, peering hard between the leaves. He laid his hand on his pocket, ready to pull his gun for whatever was coming his way. A minute had gone by and nothing appeared. The ruslte had been replaced by the footfalls of who he assumed to be Kate, ready to reveal that she'd been concerned enough to follow him. He quickly saw how wrong he was as Locke made his appearance.

"Hey James," he greeted.

In reponse, James simply stared back. It wasn't only the presence of the dead man that irked him, it was the fact that he was carrying Ben in his arms. His head was lying on Locke's shoulder and his eyes were closed, which James hoped meant he was only sleeping.

Locked trudged forward, until he was just a couple of feet away from him.

"I see you've found a cozy place to settle in," said Locke with a nod towards the house.

"What the hell are you doing here? What the hell are you doing with Ben?"

"He was all alone, in the jungle. I guess Kate didn't want to take care of him anymore." James cursed under his breath at her recklessness. Then again, he hadn't asked anyone to look after him. "Don't worry, he's just sleeping, for now."

"What the hell do you want?"

"Who says I want anything? Is it so strange that I might want to greet an old friend?"

"Not unless you were Locke, which you sure as hell ain't," James remarked. The false Locke looked taken aback, but he recovered with calmness.

"Alright James, you got me," he said with a pleasant, 'Locke' like smile. He turned as if he was about to just walk away after such a short interchange.

"Not yet I don't," James said as he pulled out his gun and pointed it at the back of his head. "I don't care what the hell is going on, but you're gonna set the boy down and walk away nice and slow."

"You're not going to shoot me James," he said without even turning around.

"What makes you think I won't?"

Locke faced him and gestured to Ben.

"Because I have custody."

James wasn't sure if this was truly a no win situation, or if he actually had a chance. Not knowing what the false Locke was, he wasn't so sure it was wise to take chances, especially with the boy so close. But James didn't dare lower his gun.

"What...do you...want?" he forced himself to ask through gritted teeth. He felt himself starting to shake with a mix of emotions he didn't want to feel.

"Just to talk James," he said simply. "That's all. Come."

Locke turned to lead the way, and James knew no good would come from following him. He had the choice of disregarding the instruction, but there was the case of Ben. He reluctantly lowered the gun. It was almost like deja vu, except in this case he believed Locke might be more dangerous than Sayid. James complied, for the sake of the boy.

**Things are getting tense, yeah? Locke, wants to have a little chat with Sawyer, and Ben is apparently his hostage. Obviously this scene echoes the one in the series where Locke did come to see James, but, you must wonder what that means since little Ben's here. Well review, and I'll be sure to start shedding some light on what's to come.**


	11. Chapter 10: Considering a Father Sont

**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost**

I'd say it's time for some father son, bonding, or attempted bonding between the two.

Chapter 10: Considering a Father Son...thing

**It was something about poker that immediately brought James back to his time on the island. More specifically, it brought him back to the time when he and Jack sat on the beach to play a round of poker. Such a memory left a bitter taste in his mouth. James was not one to relive moments from his past, but there was an exception when the moments involved the island. **

**"Hey James, you with us?"**

**James shook out of his revere at the sound of Henry who was sitting next to him at the poker table.**

**"Like he's ever been here," a man named Frank commented from across the table. "Had one too many before you came here?"**

**"Come on Frank," said Henry.**

**"What? We're here to play a game, and he's letting us off easy. But I ain't complaining."**

**"Don't worry about it Franky, cause I'm right here," James said smartly.**

**"You sure?" Frank asked as he held out his winning hand, causing James to grumble in defeat. "Been so long since you played, guess you've forgotten how."**

**"I know how to play dammnit," James grumbled in defense. "I'm just thinking."**

**"About what?" asked another co-worker named Steve.**

**"Nothing that concerns you," James snapped.**

**"It's about your kid, ain't it?" Henry assumed, alerting James's attention. "You know what you do? Marry that Kate chick. The kid could probably use a mom."**

**"No way she'd be able to keep up with me," James said with a chuckle, causing the others to see it as a joke. But to James it wasn't a joke, as such a statement brought up memories of his intimate relationship with Kate, which conflicted with the intimate ones with Juliet. Despite the relationship they'd shared, James had no intention of starting fresh with Kate on the same level. **

**"Then you should go to that Father/Son fishing thing the company's having," said Steve. "I'm taking my boys. You should take Ben."**

**"What the hell for?"**

**"Cause it's father and son," Steve clarified as if he couldn't understand. "Come on, you hardly talk about the kid. It's like you don't have one."**

**"He's got a point man," Henry agreed. **

**James murmured something that sounded like an agreement, which dropped the conversation of Ben. Still, the subject was rolling around in his head. He could imagine Juliet pushing him to take part in the Father/Son fishing event. So far, the closest they'd come to having father son time was when he, Ben and Kate had gone to the park. Such outings stopped after he turned six. Kate had insisted that if he was going to keep up the role of father to the boy, he had to make more of a commitment. In his opinion, he was committing, by making sure Ben stayed out of trouble. It was the easiest thing for him to do. He'd never been a parent, nor had he had much experience with it when he was a kid. As far as he knew, fathers set the rules, and the mothers did the coddling. Being that Juliet wasn't around to coddle the boy anymore, he never had an interest to take on such a chore. It was much too awkward for him to even try. Still, he couldn't deny Kate's warning about restricting the boy too much. He himself had grown up under harsh restrictions, which contributed to his interest in conning. **

**James gave a quick wave to Henry after he dropped him off on his porch. He then entered to find Kate watching t.v on the couch.**

**"How'd it go?" he asked.**

**"It went alright. He's in bed now. How'd it go with you?"**

**"Just fine," he said, causing her to smirk. "What?"**

**"How much did you lose?"**

**"Thirty bucks," he admitted with an annoyed sigh. "They ain't nothing but thieves."**

**"There's no shame in being a bad poker player."**

**"Whatever." James sat in the chair across from her. "Just don't expect to get paid anytime soon."**

**"Since when do I ask to get paid for babysitting?"**

**"I don't know. Figured you might change your mind," he said with a smirk. Kate shook her head and stood.**

**"Well I'll leave you two alone."**

**Kate headed for the door, just as James was mulling over the conversation at the poker game.**

**"Hold up a minute." He paused as he considered his thoughts. "There's this, father son kinda thing the company's setting up. Supposed to be this Saturday."**

**"So, what you want me to go in your place?" Kate asked.**

**"It's Father/Son, not strange woman and kid. Anyways, the guys were telling me about it."**

**James hadn't bothered to see her reaction until he finished explaining. She didn't appear to know what to make of it.**

**"Are you saying you want to go?"**

**James sighed and bowed his head.**

**"I ain't sure." Though he often disregarded her advice, this was one of those occasions where he felt he needed it. Kate moved closer to him and smiled.**

**"I think it would be good for the two of you to go. You don't spend enough time with him as it is. Juliet would've wanted you to go."**

**"Well I guess it's settled then," he said as he leaned back into the chair. "You can come too you know."**

**"It's father and son, not father and son and strange woman," she said with a smile as she headed to the door. **

**"Ha ha."**

**"See you later. Let me know how he takes it."**

**Kate left James to reflect on the idea of establishing a bond. After a moment he stood and headed to Ben's room. He opened the door and peaked inside. Ben was sound asleep on his side. James had to admit he looked so innocent that way. In contrast with the times he was awake, James couldn't help feel suspicious of him. He supposed it simply had to do with him growing up. Either way, he wasn't sure he'd ever established the bond Juliet wanted him to have with Ben. There was her hopeful wish that he would do something for the boy because he wanted to, not because he had to. He hoped the trip was one of the things Juliet was talking about, yet he wasn't so sure he truly wanted to do it in the first place. **

James seems to be wanting to try and make a bond, even though he is forcing himself and doesn't want to do it. So, a Father/Son…thing is in operation. See how it goes next time. Will Ben freak out? Will Sawyer decide to back out? Will Kate tag along and really make it Father/Son and Strange woman?

Tune in for more.


End file.
